


Playing in the Shadows

by Notasmuch



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dubious Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-14
Updated: 2011-11-14
Packaged: 2017-10-26 02:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/277488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notasmuch/pseuds/Notasmuch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hank is on a mission to exterminate his virginity. It's not working.<br/>(The dub con isn't between Hank and Alex.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Playing in the Shadows

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings explained:  
> There's brief mention of non-con and a scene in which Hank is forcing himself to do something sexual that he's not at all comfortable with. There's one Hank/Alex kiss Alex isn't really ok with and he stops it quickly.  
> Also, not exactly what I was going for since I never experienced it, but there's a scene that could be seen as panic attack, so warning for that too. Basically, some of the things that happen when society makes you do things you don't actually want to do.
> 
> Also, it's never explicitly said, but Alex is below drinking age, maybe even under 18.
> 
> It's just a ficlet though, so I don't get into it too deeply.

Hank doesn't have his glasses on. He figures it's a good thing because he really doesn't need to see just how drunk everyone around him is. He takes another sip of his beer, just enough to wet his tongue, and tries not to gag. He doesn't really get it, but everyone's doing it and he _is_ trying to blend in. The music is too loud and the lights are too bright and then too low and sometimes directly in his eyes. But people around him are half naked and grinding and that's what he's there for. To do some grinding and find someone desperate enough to rid him of his virginity. _Mental note: don't start a conversation with a sentence featuring "rid me of my virginity."_

He tilts the beer bottle again but doesn't even try tasting it this time, just mimes drinking and then spills on the floor. Good enough.

He feels someone start grinding against him and his first reaction is to push away and stare at the floor, but he remembers why he's there and manages to contain his reaction to a flinch. He turns around slowly to see a middle aged man with what seems to be a real Dali mustache and, oh god, no shirt, reaching out for his hips, positioning him so the grind is just right.

Hank feels a bit dizzy, stuck between his instinct to get away or at least ask the man's name before their cocks start rubbing, and the need, because that's what it is now, to get it over with. To be able to say to himself and everyone else that yeah, he has had sex. He _could_ have sex any time he wanted to.

With this slightly sweaty dude who looks like he could eat Hank for dinner but is currently more interested in the dance and the music. He smiles down at Hank somewhat wolfishly before he starts unbuttoning Hank's least favorite white shirt.

"Relax a bit, you look so tense," the man whispers in his ear and Hank almost giggles when the mustache tickles him, but then there are fingers on his chest and a wet pressure on his neck and they are still in the middle of the crowd, voices and eyes everywhere and the man's tongue is really, really wet and his mustache is sharp and Hank swallows the bile because he wants this dammit.

\--

Alex doesn't generally think of himself as a creep.

Asshole, rude, careless, all badges he wears with honor, but creep, not so much. And yet here he is, definitely creeping on the kid on the dance floor.

Well, _kid_. He's probably older than Alex, pretty much everyone is, but he looks just lost enough to pass for fifteen at the moment.

And he's been watching for a while. Ever since Jamie started talking about the positions he wanted to fuck some random guy in and Alex couldn't handle the bullshit any more so he walked away.

Jamie was a shitty friend, but he was old enough to buy booze and unlike Erik didn't feel the need to stop him from drinking.

But Alex just looks at his full glass sadly now, because there is drinking and then there is drinking alone and creepy and he doesn't want to be doing the latter.

He's not really sure why the guy on the dance floor attracted his attention. Or more specifically, isn't sure which one thing did it. Maybe it was the shirt first. White, buttoned up, tucked in. Tucked into what is possibly the tightest set of jeans Alex has ever seen. They couldn't be healthy.  
Then there was the fact that even though he was on the edge of the dance floor, he was still technically _on_ it. But not dancing. Just sort of looking around, trying to find a hole to fit himself into.  
Third was the look on his face. Lost and a bit panicky and a lot confused.

Alex's first thought was _rich boy coming down from an interesting trip_ but since the panicked look didn't change much and the kid wasn't running away to his mommy, Alex changed his mind.

He saw the old guy approaching full five minutes before he made contact. His drink was mostly forgotten at that point because he wanted to see what the kid would do.

The club is always full of people wanting to get laid. Some are old and experienced and horny, others are young and naive and horny. They drink, get laid, go home and that's that. So it's hardly new and exciting to see a younger guy waiting to be picked up. And yet.

Alex gets up and moves closer when people start blocking his view. The older man has his hands around the other one, and even though the _kid_ is moving closer there's something about his stance that Alex can't quite name, but he doesn't like it.

If the system taught him anything - and really, it taught him so much more than just one thing - it's that sex isn't always a good thing. _A lesson Jamie apparently never had to learn._

He will never be sure what made him move, except maybe a long faded memory of Angel's tears, but the next moment he's leaning against the older guy, close enough he doesn't have to shout. "He's sixteen and his mom's looking for him. Trust me, he's not worth it."

The guy lets go and Alex sees the other guy step back, looking a bit dazed. Alex can see the older man assessing the situation but even if he doesn't buy the story he doesn't want the drama so he shrugs and leaves.

Someone pushes Alex from behind and he's standing very close to the guy now and even in the blinking lights he can see his face clear enough to know for sure he's actually not a kid. A bit older, definitely taller than Alex. He really shouldn't be as lost here as he is.

He opens his mouth to ask something, but suddenly there's a hand on his hip and the guy is coming in closer, the same strange move that got Alex stepping up in the first place. Up close it's even worse. The guy half hugs him, with arms stiff as bricks. His heart is beating so hard Alex feels it through both of their shirts.  
Alex knows he's hot, but he rarely causes literal heart attacks.

The lips that touch his neck are incredibly soft though and he can't help but tilt his head a bit. But anything "nice" he might have felt disappears the second he puts his hands on the guy's back and feels the full body flinch it causes.

\--

On a completely shallow level, Hank likes this guy better. Closer to his age and prettier, yes. But he's still a stranger and Hank can't relax into it fully. And before he even has a chance to wonder if he should be going for an experienced man rather than someone who maybe knows even less about sex than he does, he's being pushed across the dance floor and towards the exit.

 _Oh, okay. Sex time. Maybe he has a car? That would be way better than a bathroom, probably. Unless he's a serial killer who drugs him and locks him up..._ Suddenly everything is noise and elbows again as panic overwhelms him. Bathrooms are safe, public and yes embarrassing but not nearly as much chance of getting killed and the hand is still pushing him out but the lights are so fickle he could probably escape now if he just...

They are off the dance floor and he still can't breathe. The men leaning on the bar give them assessing looks, smile seductively and Hank thinks about grabbing any one of them and pulling him into a corner. Embarrassing, public, safe.

He looks down but can't see his feet. It's a problem because now there's a noise in his head that's louder than the music, but he's not sure if it's the sound of his own breathing or his heartbeat.

"Hey. Hey!"

There are hands on his shoulders, shaking him.

"Look at me."

He tries.

"Look. Just. Breathe. Okay? A deep one in. And then nice and easy out. Good. Almost good. Now do it again."

Hank isn't sure why, but the voice is annoying him. He's obeying, but he would rather walk away. He can't though. The hands are still on his shoulders and he wants the touching to stop. Now. He manages to lift his arms - which seem heavier than they should be - up and push the other person away.

His breathing, obedient, is better now and he knows why the voice is annoying him. It's way too bloody amused for the situation. He looks up and is greeted by a really _beautiful_ arrogant smile.

"You can do it on your own now?"

Hank nods and looks around. They are out, by the back door, but he's not sure when they got there. Weren't they just at the bar? There's some light, a few people and pretty much nothing else around them. He nods again and decides to try to carry his own weight instead of letting the wall do it. It goes pretty well.

"Yes, thank you. Just a..." _panic attack?_ "too much alcohol."

The guy doesn't look like he believes it but Hank doesn't care. He needs some time alone to count in the new parameters. Definitely someone older. And definitely in public. Awkward though it is, it's less dangerous than getting kidnapped by serial killers.

"I'm Alex." The guy says.

Hank wants to give a fake name, something simple, like John or Jason or Jim, but before he can, his real name slips out and then Alex is grinning at him like he heard the whole failed debate inside Hank's head.

His defenses go up, even more so when the guy doesn't move away enough, stays too close instead and mocks him with his smile.

"So what was that about?" Alex asks.

"None of your business." Hank wants it to sound dismissive, but he thinks it mostly sounds petulant, which, why wouldn't it. Clearly, he's still just a stupid kid.

"Well, considering I just saved you from mister leather over there, I'd say it's some of my business."

 _Mister what?_ Hank wants to ask, but says, "I was having fun," instead.

"Right, so sorry, you looked so comfortable there. Why don't I just let you go back to him so he can tickle you with his mustache."

The right answer is, "Yeah, why don't you!" but Hank giggles before he can stop it and then Alex is laughing in his face and shaking his head. Hank bites his lip because he's never sure if people are laughing at him or with him, but Alex doesn't look like the kind of guy who would share his sense of humor.

Eventually, Alex stops. There's an awkward silence where it looks like Alex is waiting for something but apparently he gives up because he sighs and finally steps away far enough that Hank feels comfortable. "Okay, Bozo, don't tell me. I don't know why I even cared."

"I don't either."

Alex nods and turns to leave and Hank's brain goes into overdrive, as usual. _He cared - he's not your friend, so the only reason he would care is because he likes how you look. He knew to take you back here - he spends a lot of time in this place. He's not bad looking - he had sex before. Possibly lots of sex, but certainly more than you. You like how he looks even if you don't like him. It's not that you liked the mustached man either. Go for it. Now!"_

Hank reaches out and grabs Alex's arm, pulls him back and slams into him with a dry kiss. Alex flinches, adjusts, then presses unforgiving fingers against Hank's neck and pushes him back into the wall. Not hard enough to crack his head, but definitely pushing him away.

 _"What_ was _that_?" Alex grinds through his teeth. "And this time I'm very sure it's my business."

"I..." Hank swallows hard under the hand still holding his throat. "I'm sorry."

"That's not what I asked."

"A... kiss?" Hank stutters and hates himself and Alex and his entire socially awkward, miserable, lonely life.

"Really?" Alex lets go, but stays so close Hank keeps himself glued to the wall. "That was a really bad kiss."

Hank just nods, defeated.

\--

Alex congratulates himself for not punching Hank in the face. His case worker would have been proud.

His other impulse is much harder to ignore. With his eyes looking down and his head bowed, Hank is really all eyelashes and lips, and Alex wouldn't mind being his first gay experience, but the guy clearly has issues and Alex doesn't even have to use a lot of his imagination to think of four ways this could end badly for him.

"You should go home," he says instead of all the things he _wants to_ , and Hank nods again, without looking up, but doesn't move to go anywhere.

Alex is torn between curiosity and the instinct to cover his own ass and run away before he gets too involved. He kicks Hank's foot with his own. "What are you doing here?"

This time he gets an answer. "Same as everyone else. Trying to get laid."

It sounds wrong, not just because of the accent, but because of the way Hank stutters over it, like he's trying to be casual even though he knows it's too late for that.

"With the leather man?"

Hank finally looks up at that, but only to roll his eyes at Alex. "With anyone. My options are limited and I just want it over with so I can get on with my life. I have a doctorate waiting to be written and an experiment waiting to be finished and I just... I need this done."

"So, your big gay crisis came in the middle of schoolwork?"

"No, my friend came in the middle of schoolwork and..." Hank stops, looking startled, probably as surprised that he is talking to Alex as Alex is himself. "Why are _you_ here?"

"Subtle. Here with you or here at the club?"

"Both?"

"I was out with a friend who got a bit annoying so I started browsing. I have no idea why I'm out here with you when there's beer and hot men inside."

Hank nods again.

"So your friend came?"

"Why do you care?" Hank's eyes look carefully curious and Alex realizes how stupidly easy it is to read Hank, his entire past of careful curiosity and social awkwardness and hurt. Doctorate at maybe twenty, yeah, what a shock he doesn't know how to pick up.

Alex shrugs.

Hank touches his own face, then frowns for a moment and flails before he smiles at himself. "I forgot I'm not wearing my glasses."

The little smile is ridiculously charming and Alex covers his feelings by rolling his eyes and nudging Hank's foot again to get him talking.

"I'm not having a gay crisis. I had that when I was fifteen and in university and all the hot older guys were walking around with their shirts off."

"Fifteen and in uni?"

Hank waves his hand like it doesn't matter. "I'm having an 'I don't want to be a virgin any more' crisis and no one wants to have sex with me."

Alex snorts, both at the virgin thing - he'd been wondering - and the complete untruth after that. He throws his hands up placatingly when Hank frowns at him. "Dude, everyone wants to have sex with you. You are the one who doesn't want to."

"That's not true! I was there, I was dancing and drinking..." Hank takes a deep breath, obviously preparing for a rant but Alex won't let him.

"You were standing like a brick house waiting to be moved. When that one guy decided to jump you despite it you looked like you had to break an arm to put it around him. Trust me, come up to any guy and just look at him for long enough, he'll have sex with you."

"You don't want to." Hank sounds like he's throwing it in both of their faces.

"I don't appreciate being grabbed. I know it looks all romantic and shit in the movies, but in reality you're lucky you still have all your teeth."

Hank looks up, surprised, and licks his lips. "So..."

And if Alex says no this time he should qualify for some kind of a medal, but since life doesn't give medals for restraint he leans up and kisses Hank. For a moment it's so sweet it's almost too much for him, Hank's quick breathing and the tickle of his lashes and his perfectly soft lips, just how Alex imagined it would be. Then one of them groans and suddenly there is no space between them, it's all hands and lips and Alex feeling like he's trying to climb Hank. Stupid tall men.

But the second he pushes his thigh between Hank's legs, even as he feels how hard Hank could get behind those too tight jeans, the rest of Hank's body stiffens up, his breath hitches in all the wrong ways and his arms again feel like they want to crush more than hold. Alex pulls his leg back, still kissing, but the moment doesn't come back, Hank doesn't relax again and Alex sighs regretfully and pulls back a bit.

\--

Alex is still close enough that Hank can feel his breath on his face and thighs against his, but he's not moving and Hank is pretty sure he should be. There should be more pushing and less clothes. He opens his eyes to check on Alex and sees him staring back. "What?"

"You went all stiff again."

Hank wants to say something funny, but this time he actually feels the ache in his muscles and lets go of Alex's shoulder he was apparently clinging to.

Alex doesn't do the predictable thing and leave him the hell alone with his issues. Instead, he clears his throat and tugs on Hank's shirt for a moment before saying, "I don't want to sound all after-school-special, but you don't have to do it if you're not ready."

Hank feels the anger, at himself, rise again. "I'm over twenty, of course I'm ready." His tone is sharp and determined, but Alex just shakes his head.

"Maybe not. Clearly not. You don't have to do it now."

"Right. I'm sure it will be much easier ten years from now."

Alex steps back and pushes his hands in his pockets. "Maybe you're just not a one night stand kind of guy."

"I don't have time for a relationship."

"But you have time to go out and pick up random guys?"

Hank knows Alex can't understand, but he tries to explain anyway. "I have this one night, I planned it, tomorrow I go back to my work and the one and a half friends I have. That I'm happy to have despite of the work." He wants to say more. Try to explain that his work and his studies were there when no one else was and that he owes the work more loyalty than any person he ever met. That the only friends he has are the ones who are okay with being inferior in knowledge and they compensate by lording their understanding of social protocols and their many other friendships and relationships over him and this is the one thing he can do to feel equal on that level and make himself appear more normal. Then maybe they will look at him as more than the circus freak he is and he will be able to call them friends with honesty and then he will be even more normal. Almost completely normal.  
But he can't say all that and not look pathetic. More pathetic.

Alex must hear his desperation but he doesn't answer with sympathy or pity. He shakes his head and grins like an asshole again. "That's ridiculous. Where do you work?"

Hank answers before he can process the seemingly pointless change of topic.

"I'm coming over tomorrow and taking you for something to eat" Alex says. "Then I'm doing it again in two days, and again two days after that. And if you're very, very lucky, after a month of doing that, I might consider having sex with you."

Hank's head explodes with questions, _Is that dating? Are we dating? Can I date? Didn't you hear anything I just said? Why are you so weird? Can I tell people we're dating? Who are you? What do you want? Why would you do that?_ but the only thing he actually says is, "You have a lot of free time."

Alex tilts his head. "I do."

"How old are you?"

And this time when Alex smirks Hank knows he's in trouble. So, so much trouble. "Probably best not to answer that right now."

Then his breath is gone for a while as Alex kisses all the questions away and before he gets his head back together, Alex is walking away, waving at him. "My phone number is in your pocket, just in case!" he breaks the corner and then he's gone.

Hank wants to take a moment and compose himself, but there is moaning coming from the dark corner a few feet away from him and he decides to run away with dignity.

**Author's Note:**

> These characters belong to people who created them. That's not me. I'm just having fun with them.
> 
> Title by Example.


End file.
